My parents argue that can have an effect on me
I need help, what should I do?
I’m in seventh grade (first year of middle school) and our family has been having some problems. I have come home in a good mood, yet whenever I seem to come home my parents start arguing.
My sister is really mean and spoiled to my parents and I can’t take any more of it. I find myself trying to get alone and think about things and try to talk to friends to help relieve my stress. This kind of bickering has been getting worse through the years and now, I’d have to say, it can have an effect on me a lot. I have told them a few times that they argue a lot, but they won’t listen and instead won’t call it arguing.
My sister sounds really nasty and is rude to my parents all the time. She won’t do things when my parents tell her to, when I always do them. My parents always baby her and I feel like I’m never taken for who I am. They rarely praise me for things I do good and always have to start something in the car or at meals. I feel desperate and these kinds of stuff are starting to have an effect on my life and self-confidence. When I think about it, I start crying.
My plan is to tell the doctor about my frustrating family issues when I have my check-up in October, although I had one last October of 2009 and when she asked me if middle school was going fine and if I was ever feeling sad (which is what she asks every patient), I simply said “no”. I feel like I’m making this sound worse than it actually is, because my parents are the most loving parents any kid my age could have. But these little problems are just overcrowding my brain with thoughts and I would like to get away from it as soon as possible.
I hope you understand my feelings. Please give me any suggestions on how to either stop this, ignore it easier, get away from it, or even who to tell.
Best Answer
I think talking to your doctor would be a good idea, also, in my experience it could be good, and this goes for many situations, to try a different perspective when talking to your parents about this.
Instead of telling them that they argue a lot, which could cause them to get defensive, maybe it could be good to tell them how you yourself feel about the situation, that you’re getting stressed, that you feel they’re not “seeing” you, and that the whole situation has even caused you to cry when you’ve been thinking about it.(and other things you can think of) Because that’s your personal truth, and even tho they can “deny” that they are arguing, they can’t tell you that what YOU are experiencing isn’t true. It’s your feelings, your experiences, and that means it is REAL.
Sometimes this can be tricky, because it involves exposing yourself and showing your emotions and thoughts to people close to you. And sometimes they might not understand at first (or, of course, in some cases not at all, but that’s some cases:-)
And I am sure your parents really are loving and great. I also am pretty confident that all families have their issues on some level or another, some very bad and some small. BUT they are all issues, and part of being human is to work on things like this and talk out about emotions, thoughts and the situational drama that makes us human and that we have to face(and luckily, life is not all about drama, not at all, it’s just a part of life and it’s there to be worked out)
Good luck, and talking stuff out with your Doctor as well is usually a good idea:-)
And I am sure your parents really are loving and great. I also am pretty confident that all families have their issues on some level or another, some very bad and some small. BUT they are all issues, and part of being human is to work on things like this and talk out about emotions, thoughts and the situational drama that makes us human and that we have to face(and luckily, life is not all about drama, not at all, it’s just a part of life and it’s there to be worked out)
Good luck, and talking stuff out with your Doctor as well is usually a good idea:-)