How do you get over the death of a parent?

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My dad died from cancer just four months ago. It feels like a hole has been ripped from my life. I cry everyday still. The pain doesn’t seem less, but worse with time, like he’s further away the more the time passes. I don’t understand why he had to suffer and die. I can’t get over it. Advice? Thanks.

Best Answer

You never get over it, but eventually you get used to it. You will be happy again.

What you feel is perfectly normal; the loss of a parent is devastating. And four months is no time at all, grieving takes time. The first year, with its anniversaries, is especially hard; but it will start to get easier.

My mother died of cancer almost 30 years ago, and my dad died 10 years ago; I still cry, but I smile far more often than I cry when I think of them, and I think of them often. This happens gradually over time, and I promise you it will happen for you.

I cried when my parents’ first great grandchild was born; my mother in particular would have been so happy, and she didn’t even get to see her grandchildren, let alone her great grandchildren. But I was delighted too, and smiled when I saw the resemblance to my mother in my little great nephew’s face.

Best wishes to you. You may benefit from talking to somebody out side the family about this; if you feel you would, talk to your doctor about being referred to a grief counsellor.

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Thank you so much. It helps to hear from people who have gone through this. Your answer is very comforting. I hope one day i do smile more than i cry.

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